Penn Jillette, I’m calling your ass out on the carpet for perpetrating the biggest hoax of the 21st century because I am so tired of hearing people excitedly explain the premise of your 2005 documentary “The Aristocrats” to their friends. It was funny at the time and I enjoyed seeing all the chatter about the film on television, especially the way that everybody, everywhere had become instant experts on the backstage society of comedians. Having Saget in the film was a masterstroke at convincing the world that the joke was real, I mean, old Bob Saget wouldn’t lie to us… would he?
So, while I know that everyone involved with the project must have had a blast, don’t you think that it’s time for the big lie to be over and for you to admit to the world that “The Aristocrats” was a sham, a hoax, a Blistered Ethel (an old Vaudeville term that I just made up)? What really gets me is that although I know that I shouldn’t be surprised at their gullibility, I can’t get over how stupid people are. How trusting. Guess we’re conditioned to believe documentaries, I used to repeat the “facts” I hear on TV all the time.
Now I just make up stuff. It’s a lot more fun.
You and I both know that the joke was never the “secret handshake” of Vaudevillians. Can you seriously picture any one of the Seven Little Foys ever telling that joke (or acting it out)? Don’t answer that. Just stand there and let me applaud you and the 100 prankish comedians who assisted you in this bit of theatrical chicanery. This will forever remain one of your best tricks, masterfully executed on all of the idiots I keep running into at parties.
Oh, and I want back the money that I paid to see the movie (since it was about a fake inside-joke). If not my money then something of equal value, like a beer. Preferably without giant centipedes swimming in it.