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Star Trek is This Generation’s… WHA??

Grand Hyperbole

Do you know what hyperbole is?
Do you know who Kirk Montgomery is?
Do you know what you get when you mix the two?

I just heard an advertisement for the new Star Trek movie in which Mr. Montgomery is quoted as saying that the new Star Trek is “this generation’s Star Wars”. ORLY? I thought it was supposed to be this generation’s STAR TREK!!!!

Cretin.

::sigh::

Following this new variation on logic I can only surmise that:

  • “House” must be this generation’s “Gone With The Wind”.
  • The new Will Ferrell remake of “Land of the Lost” must be this generation’s “French Connection”.
  • “Transformers 2” must certainly be this generation’s “Citizen Kane”
  • and who could deny that “Operation Runway” represents this generation’s “From Here to Eternity”??

Alls I know is that THIS generation have their heads up their collective asses and that Mr. Montgomery is leading the charge. Just like Humphrey Bogart in “Ironman 2”.

Now THERE was a classic.

Living is Winning

Living is Winning
On Monday night I attended the premiere of the documentary “Living is Winning” at the 2009 Atlanta Film Festival, where a packed house followed the story of professional IronMan competitor Drew Johnston, an athlete who refused to allow Leukemia to stop his desire to win the grueling IronMan World Continue reading

Penn Jillette’s Biggest Trick

Penn Jillette, I’m calling your ass out on the carpet for perpetrating the biggest hoax of the 21st century because I am so tired of hearing people excitedly explain the premise of your 2005 documentaryThe Aristocrats” to their friends. It was funny at the time and I enjoyed seeing all the chatter about the film on television, especially the way that everybody, everywhere had become instant experts on the backstage society of comedians. Having Saget in the film was a masterstroke at convincing the world that the joke was real, I mean, old Bob Saget wouldn’t lie to us… would he?
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Hot Tamale

On Friday night I attended the opening for this year’s Dixie Film Festival at Georgia State University, where I watched the husband/wife team of Michael and Janine Damian receive an award for their film Hot Tamale (click here for Official website). Regular readers (all five ka-zillion of you) will know that I’ve been busy with my own asinine projects all summer, so the Damians’ film was a welcome break that allowed me to sit back, relax, and watch someone else’s work for a change.
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Dead Man’s Chest

[rate 4]
I sacrificed attending the general release opening of Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean 2 : Dead Man’s Chest” to support an art opening in Decatur, which might seem unbelievable if you’ve ever been accosted by my alter-ego Cap’n Drew, a solid fan of all things piratic. Last night I dragged said alter-ego out to see the film and have to say that we were generally pleased (in the royal sense) with the picture, swashing four buckles out of five. Being both a sequel, the middle act of a trilogy and a star-studded summer blockbuster, ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ was fated to be jammed underneath the lens of “entertainment journalists” who immediately began grousing about the movie being nothing more than a sack full of exposition and needless action; a mere setup for the third and final movie “At World’s End”. I only have one question: “Did any of you guys see “The Empire Strikes Back”?.
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Superman Returns

Superman Returns
I zipped out to catch the opening of this film tonight and I’m glad that I did because now I don’t have to ignore any of the press about the movie. Unfortunately, I don’t expect there to be a lot of press for this film because it really wasn’t all that good. Or bad. Well no, it wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was rather well made and lovingly handled- it just wasn’t great; it didn’t have a lot of topography.
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Final Destination 3

[rate 3]
When it comes to horror movies I generally steer clear unless they’re clever. The first film in the “Final Destination” series was imaginative, frightening and decidedly clever. An enormous pileup on the interstate made the second film a must-see for fans of the first film. So when I saw a television advertisement for a third film I was reaching for the car keys. I’m giving this film 3 out of 5 dangerously-placed Slurpee cups over high voltage boxes.
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King Kong (2005)

[rate 4.5]
Note to self: Never see a Peter Jackson movie on a full bladder, and never, under any circumstances, go to see one after 8pm or you may find yourself closing the theater/mall down with the security crew; as I ambled out of the theater brushing down my chair hair I asked an employee how long the movie was…. he answered “Three hours and twenty minutes”. A policeman on security detail replied with “But it was worth it, wasn’t it?”

Yes, it was absolutely, incredibly, heartbreakingly worth it.
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Zathura

[rate 1.5]
Finally, a worthy successor to Jumanji… just as I was getting worried that the cursed board game genre was nigh on fading away along comes this glittering piece of filmdom complete with a swoopy name: Zathura.
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