When I Was Spider-Man

Spins a Web, Any SizeThere are those who might believe that my cinematic history with Batman prevents me from the hero worship of any other crimefighter, and for a time those people would’ve been absolutely correct. But as the statute of limitations on my NDA with Wayne Industries has reached its maturation date, I feel that it’s safe for me to step out of the shadows to tell you about a time when I was the real Spider-Man. It’s the classic tale of an awkward young man gifted with supernatural powers. A battle between Good and Evil. The uplifting story of an underdog. A comedy, tonight.
Continue reading When I Was Spider-Man

Parker’s Wizard

Mmmm, Kirstie Alley
This evening I caught the video of actress Kirstie Alley strutting her stuff in bra and panties to show off her “new body” to Oprah, God and Everybody. Nice job Kirstie, you’re elbowing your way back onto my list of sexy actresses. All this celebratory hooplah has nearly made me lose the remaining guilt that I harbor over my part in your breakup from Parker. What? Didn’t I ever tell you guys that story? Continue reading Parker’s Wizard