Love Ladder

I’d like to introduce you to a new product that I’ve only just recently invented called the “Love Ladder” – the newest erotic aid for loveplay since the…. um, well, I don’t know. But it’s a darned cracking sexy looking device, don’t you think? The box says that it’s fun for him and her! One size fits all! It’s hypoallergenic!! How can ladies resist? It’s runged for her pleasure for gosh sakes!!! Rrrrowwwrrr!!

“How do you get one of these things!!” you’re probably asking!!

Well, see, that’s where it gets kind of complicated.

Why don’t I tell you how I invented the Love Ladder first…..

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Facebook Love

For over a year now I’ve been using a neat plug-in for my web browser which hides advertisements on websites, cutting out the clutter and increasing my surfing speed. However, several weeks ago I realized that this marvelous plug-in was causing weird behavior whenever I tried making comments on Facebook so I disabled it and was astonished to discover what I’ve been missing out on all this time: women!!! But not just any type of women; these are women who are looking specifically for guys who are 42 years old.

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Trade-in Your friends


Famed radio news anchor Bill McNeal once said: “Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say, “I never liked you, get lost!”” I’ve been ruminating on a similar, slightly less insane variation of that concept since June and am finally ready to frame those thoughts in pixels for better or worse. Fueled by disappointment, filtered by introspection and flavored with perspective I have finally experienced an earthrending paradigm shift: not all of my friends are my Friends. And it may be time to trade some of those people in for some real Friends.

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