Revolutionary Retro-Illumination Guide #1

5 Lights Living Room Dining Room Perforated Metal Lampshade Ceiling Light

With the arrival of functional, mainstream LED lighting I think a lot of us have become fascinated with the new range of illumination solutions. More than once I have found myself stuck on the lighting aisle of my local home repair store, mesmerized by all the options. Back in 2016 I had my first close encounter with retro LED lightbulbs at a hipster lighting store in Atlanta. I must have stood there for 15 minutes pushing buttons to stare at the strange variety of glowing bulbs.

Those hipsters were convinced I’d never seen a lightbulb before.

Last night I ran across some really cool ceiling fixtures sold by a company called WestMenLights. You really need to see these “Edison” bulbs (which are not LEDs at all) and fixtures, whether you’re in the market or not.  Truth be told it’s highly unlikely that you will ever need one of these fixtures unless:

  1. you live alone, or
  2. your significant other organizes Steampunk conventions, or
  3. you are Batman.

Hey Batman, check these things out!

Electrified Machine Gun Lamp

5 Lights Living Room Dining Room Perforated Metal Lampshade Ceiling Light

This one looks like a 5-barreled electrified machine gun to me. It must certainly be the most dangerous of the bunch. You can get one here.

The Dalek

The Dalek Lamp

Perfect for the descendents of Jon Pertwee or that special little exterminator in your life. Would look great with a toilet plunger. You can get one here.

The Edison Gone Wild

The Edison Lamp

This little number screams “HOLY CRAP AT ALL THE LIGHTBULBS THAT I INVENTED!” – You’ll scream too when you see your power bill. Buy one today!

The Doc Brown

Flux Capacitor

Look at that classic flux capacitor design! You see it, right? Every time you turn on the lights to your room full of action figures you’ll travel back in time to when you were 14 years old and girls wouldn’t look at you. Just order one now and we won’t mention how not much has changed in your life.

Classic Lightbulbs in Cages

For those of you who just can’t depart from the classic lightbulb shape this is the lamp for you: old-fashioned looking bulbs trapped in cages, probably buzzing dangerously with good old-timey electricity that’s sure to put a curl in your tail. Check it out!

I hope that this glimpse into the wonderful world of retro-illumination has given you inspiration for ways to really jack up your house with LEDs and make the neighbors watch you from the corner of their eyes.

But seriously, this is some really cool tech and my fear is that it’s just a passing fad. So if you’re really inspired by the look of this hardware you might want to jump on it now before the Steampunks scoop them up and manufacturers stop making them.


(or whatever it is that Steampunks say to each other)



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