You think that your stock market problems are bad? My entire world is slowly disintegrating around me and there’s nothing I can seem to do to stop it. For instance, just this afternoon I was trying to get out the house to run some errands and had just finished putting on my neoclassic leather Converse All Star bassettball shoes when I noticed something really weird… the soles didn’t feel right… they felt kind of disconnected.
It felt more as if there was a piece of cardboard slipped inbetween my feet and the bottom of my shoes.
Like… like I was floating… plus it was pretty darned uncomfortable.
I felt kind of flat-footed.
Naturally, I reached down to feel of the sole of my left shoe…. and it moved.
It was the sort of moving flappage that indicated that something was wildly askew, astonishingly amiss.
Epic Sneaker Fail.
At some point in the 300-year course of my ownership of this particular set of shoes the industrial adhesive joining the rubber sole to the leather upper had become a free agent and decided to quit the field of play. To show solidarity, the puffy foam padding jammed between the leather upper and the rubber bottomer walked off too. But before it left it strewed floppy puffy pieces of itself all over the carpet.
It even shot me a bird.
The only option I had left was to remove the shoestrings (as they were still (vaguely) viable) and gently set the pair of beloved sneakers into the garbage can.