Batman Begins

[rate 4.5]
This review is a tad tardy and wholly unnecessary as there are five kazillion reviews of the movie online now, but if you’re interested in the opinion of someone who won a writing competition to be IN the first Michael Keaton Batman movie, here goes:

I’m giving this movie four and a half bats out of five.

I saw ‘Batman Begins’ at the 12:01am Atlanta premiere with a theater full of fans, which always tends to make an action-adventure movie more fun to watch although it does make it harder to see the screen when there are 200 little Bat-Ears poking up from everyone’s costumes.
Continue reading Batman Begins

War of the Worlds (2005)

[rate 4]
I have to hand it to Steven Spielberg, he really goes all out when he makes a movie. On the way home from seeing ‘War of the Worlds’ tonight the world was alight with intermittent flashes of lightning, illuminating the dark roiling skies from within like giant lanterns. Chances are, if I’d seen the silhouette of a city water tower tossed into sharp relief I would have driven straight off the road into the trees and not stopped running until next May.

I’m giving this movie four out of five alien tripods.

It would have only been six but I’m buying off the Scientologists with an extra point so they’ll stay off of my back. Johnny T., QUIT calling man – I keep telling you that I’m Methodist!!
Continue reading War of the Worlds (2005)

Firefly : Special Sneak Peek

This week I attended a special screening of the film ‘Serenity’, the third such pre-release audience test screening to visit Atlanta in the last eight weeks. Based on the failed FOX network series ‘Firefly’, this movie represents a Very Big Thing to the world of science fiction fandom; one of the very few times that a cancelled television show is moved up to the silver screen with creator, cast and crew intact (think: Star Trek). Before the movie began there was a brief, pre-recorded introduction by the show’s creator/director, Joss Whedon (aka Joyce Wilber, aka Jox Wheaty, aka Jake Wheelbarrow and any other other intentional mispronunciation I could think of to elicit wails of frustration from the man’s fans).
Continue reading Firefly : Special Sneak Peek

Star Wars Episode 3 : The Revenge of the Sith

[rate 4.5]
It was Thursday, May 19th in the wee hours of the morning and I was driving home from the Regal 24, sleep already burning its way into my eyes when I sensed it.

“What’s wrong Drewprops?” I spoke into the rushing wind from an open window.

I paused, sighed contentedly and the answer slipped into the world… “A great disturbance on the Internet. It was like a million petulant geeks crying out in unison, then suddenly being silenced. George Lucas finally made another decent movie.”
Continue reading Star Wars Episode 3 : The Revenge of the Sith

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

[rate 4]
Towel-less went I into the great gaping maw of the 12:01am Atlanta premiere of HHGG, anticipation mixing with excitement, stirring itself into soda mixed with peanut M+M’s, bubbling over into a growing expectation that the movie might actually be good, raining down into a puddle of foreboding that the movie was all too soon going to dash my heart upon the sharp and familiar rocks of cinematic best-intentions-gone-horribly-astray.

Something even more terrible than my opening sentence.
Continue reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Kung Fu Hustle

[rate 4]
It’s a lot of fun when a foreign language film breaks out of the art film circuit and into mainstream American culture, which will easily be the case with this movie. The subtitles were quickly digested by the audience, made all the more palatable with the zesty sprinkles of Warner Brothers “cartoon violence” (boy does that term steam my goat (no, I don’t know what that means either)).
Continue reading Kung Fu Hustle

Sahara

[rate 3]
I can almost see the pitch: “See… it’s like, it’s like ‘Indiana Jones’ meets ‘James Bond’ meets….um, ‘Outbreak’, yeah, Outbreak, meets ummmm, ‘James Bond’ (again)…. uhhh, see?”

Still, ‘Sahara’ is a lot of fun to watch, delivering a great no-brainer action movie that would serve to spin Matthew McConaughey into a recurring role if the box office spikes on this preposterous, pre-blockbuster season release.
Continue reading Sahara

Robots

[rate 5]
Pixar, start counting your days – another animation team has finally figured out what your secret is: a good story. While its plot is hardly new, ‘Robots’ succeeds with a darned fine synthesis of Pixar’s “secret sauce”: imagination and heart. Blue Sky Studios has another winner on their hands from the same directing team of Carlos Saldanha and Chris Wedge who did the popular animated film “Ice Age”.

I’m giving it five bolts out of five. Grab some kids (they really ought to be your own you know, what with the laws and all) and head to the theater
NOW.
Continue reading Robots

Constantine

[rate 3]

Ugly, brusque and heartless is the new black, or the new Matrix if we’re talking about Keanu Reeves’ latest role as the anti-hero of the new Warner Brothers comic-turned-movie “Constantine”.

Based on a character seen most recently in a comic series called “Hellblazer”, the movie follows the dark mission of one John Constantine; a human fighting a solitary war against both the forces of Good and Evil, each of which attempt to influence the course of human events with subtle nudges. The script plays fast and loose with Judeo-Christian motifs and fearlessly makes up things when history can’t supply the necessary components.
Continue reading Constantine

2004 Movie Review (the hard way)

Tax season unavoidably casts its wicked light into the darkened corners of my fiscal world, stirring a strange feral hatred of paperwork and an even stranger desire to sit in the living room surrounded by mounds of folders, picking through the remains of the past year, trying to assess my successes and failures. Pasting up a year’s worth of receipts, feature film petty cash style, is a daunting task. Actually figuring out what some of those receipts are is even harder.
Continue reading 2004 Movie Review (the hard way)