HRSTT: The Great Bowling Ball Heist

Hot Rats StoryTime Theater
The Great Bowling Ball Heist
By Channing McCleod (Hot Rattus Emeritus)

Hmmmm…..I’m not exactly sure what the impetus was for the Great Bowling Ball Heist, but you can rest assured that ‘death and destruction’ were near the top of the list.

While I distinctly recall my role in the heist, and the ‘heist-er’, I don’t recall who else was directly involved with the Bowling Ball. If memory serves me correctly, I was hanging around the Architecture building with Robert Ammerman (I think)…..”What we need is something heavy…..” came up in conversation. I knew just the thing and how to get it. That’s where Kathy McPherson comes in…..(looking completely angelic I might add).

We convinced Kathy to go to the student center with Robert, myself, and an empty book bag. Strolling into the ‘arcade’, and while keeping a lookout, we whipped a 16 lb orb-o-distruction into the empty bag and onto Kathy’s back. I figured no one could ever suspect such an innocent of dastardly deeds like this. She walked out ! like she owned the place, and the only looks she drew were longing ones (girls were rare in the ‘arcade’.) Once we reached the steps of the student center, and realized our success, thoughts of greater ‘heists’ flickered through my mind…(ask about the Great Mylar rip-off of ’90 sometime)….and I suppressed an urge to go ‘global’…..then we went back to the Architecture building and started smashing stuff.

I was quite impressed with the system we developed……two people on the roof (throwers), and two on the ground (spotters). The spotters made the coast clear, the throwers threw, the spotters collected the ‘orb’ and sent it back up on the elevator and the throwers gathered it at the 3rd floor lobby.

I think it took about 3 days to break the orb…..and it ‘rolled’ around for the rest of the quarter quite randomly…..shortly after the orb was broken, the fried chicken gods were appeased with sacrifices of the Colonels finest extra crispy hung within the confines of the o! ven like 3rd floor studio…..spawning ‘oven fried chicken’…..and attracting the largest roach I’ve ever had the pleasure to see, kill/capture, and incase in 35 coats of sanding sealer. It was an ‘Atlanta Scarab’ I tell you…….

..Channing McCleod

The events depicted here may in fact be the deranged ramblings of an adult who simply wishes to make their college experience sound more exciting. The memories found herein are the property of the collective conciousness of the HOT RATS and may in no way be used as evidence in a court of law, since the statute of limitations for “reckless architecture” has long since run out. This article and the contents therein may not be reprinted without the express written consent of the author.

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