The thing you JUST DON’T TELL PEOPLE is that you made a terrible mistake and bought five new pairs of boxers ONE SIZE TOO LARGE and that today’s AWESOME LOOKING BLUE MADRAS boxers have been slipping WAY DOWN INSIDE of your britches, trying to slide DOWN TO YOUR KNEES through two different pants legs, which just means that they are BUNCHING UP AT YOUR CROTCH in a most unusual manner.
Those people will be PUT OFF by how much information you are sharing with them and HORRIFIED by the realization that you are potentially NAKED INSIDE OF YOUR PANTS and TURNED WAY OFF by the idea that you may have recently shoved both hands down the backside of your jeans in an attempt to FISH OUT the top of the elastic band of your errant boxers and YANK THEM BACK UP and they won’t care that you may be SOMEWHAT PROUD of the fact that you are actually an Old Navy LARGE instead of an Old Navy EXTRA LARGE even if it does mean that you have to EAT THE COST of those blooming boxers and attempt to sew them up a little to make them fit your not-so-extra-large waist that is STILL TOO DARNED BIG AROUND so just keep your mouth shut because those very same people will conclude that you shouldn’t be left to wander the streets on your own or post to Facebook without an editor and will JUDGE YOU SEVERELY BEHIND YOUR BACK in exactly the same way that you do to them.
