Legendary Orange PEBL

Legendary Orange Motorola PEBLSeveral months ago I had a problem with my cellphone and had to jump through many hoops to get my problem resolved. Ultimately it was resolved to my satisfaction by a very nice representative of the company. However, so many of my friends enjoyed the letter to the company that I’ve decided to post it online for your amusement….

PLEASE help me,
I’m indescribably frustrated with your company at this moment.

Today I made a FOURTH attempt to obtain service from Motorola for a brand new cellular telephone that I purchased from your online store in April of this year. The phone is an orange PEBL and the problem is that the twin screens on the phone “die” on a daily basis forcing me to reboot the device. I understand that this is a typical issue with this device, however I did NOT know that the resolution of the problem would be so atypical of a company that lists itself as a JD Powers award winner.

Can you please help me resolve this problem?


My list of attempts to-date:

July 13
Contacted online support system, received response to execute a “master reset”. This I did.

July 18
After a week of continued “screen deaths” I decided that the advice I’d been given was errant and attempted to follow up via a link in the customer support email to Motorola’s online support system. However, the outsourced website that handles your customer inquiries, custhelp.com, apparently doesn’t allow a person to update questions even if you’re logged in and bowing in the direction of Motorola HQ.

Gave up in frustration for a week.

July 24
Called Motorola and reached a really cool sounding navigation guy who quickly diverted my call to India. It was fun and all, I mean, I spoke with some really polite people named “Janet” and “Brian”, each of whom informed me that my phone’s serial number was not in your records even though I purchased it DIRECTLY from Motorola’s website. You think it could be a collector’s item? (Online Store Order Ref#: #########)

ANYWAY, this was one of those legendary 45 minute telephone calls… the kind you read about in magazines. I spent no less than 12 minutes sounding out every letter from my daytime work address of “Peachtree Road” via handclaps, hoots, clicks and whistles. In the end, “Brian” awarded me with a “special action”, which he also referred to as a “special request” and a “case number”.

That number (I know you’d like to know it) was #########.

NOT that this number is going to do you any good, dear Motorola Feedback person, because I’m quite certain that this number will connect you to the local Chinese takeout restaurant in the part of India in which that nice young man (“Brian”) works. I can only assume that he gave me that number in a desperate bid to make me go away and stop spelling words at him.

Potentially bright lad.

July 26 (Today)
Since NOBODY from Motorola ever called me back with an RMA# or a service address I decided to have a ring ’round to India again today to spell MORE things at them. I have to assume that my conversation with the nice lady (who mangled my surname FAR less horribly than I would hers) is going to result in the same non-action of the past two weeks, so I thought that I would try writing to you today in the hopes that you aren’t actually Brian or Janet. Or the name-mangler.


So, Motorola Feedback person.

I know it’s not your fault that my phone isn’t working, or that Janet passed me off to Brian, or that Brian is convinced that Atlanta doesn’t have any streets with the word “Peachtree” in them.

It’s not even your fault that the nice lady called me “Mister Toucan” today. I thought that was rather funny.

What matters is that I still have this telephone with the wanky screens.
And I’m still frustrated.
And I have a blog.
Booga Booga Booga!!

I hope to hear from you soon.
My best to Janet and Brian.

Your faithful customer,

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